The MOMA Man: Face Punch

I am twenty four years old. And within these twenty four years I would have never predicted that the one thing I felt I needed to do to fulfill the ultimate satisfaction in my life was to punch a man in the face at the Museum Of Modern Art. The MOMA attracts some of the better looking females in New York City, whether they are residents of this city or visiting from various states or countries. Most of these women are accompanied by a highly deserving potential face punching victim.
Humans have walked the earth between one hundred to two hundred and fifty thousand years, and since year one, I am fully confident humans have been punching each other in the face. To punch someone in the face, outside of sport, you must obtain a fiery hatred towards the percipient that irks you to want to damage the state of their presence. By doing so, you may have the power to affect all five of their senses. Eyes, nose, mouth, ears, all are unfortunate targets.
If there were face punching idols, I would have to say mine would be Indiana Jones. The man carries a gun and a whip, almost everywhere he goes, and yet he still utilizes his fists more than either of those weapons. Indiana Jones doesn’t just hit a man in the face. He hits them so hard the next man already knows how loud he will be hit. Indiana Jones has also helped us determine the spelling of a face punch. “Psshh!” There’s the initial smack that creates the P sound. It’s a popping smack, but it’s short enough to only pronounce a “P”. The “sshh” is from the follow through. It can be created by leather-like skin, hairy knuckles, or a punchee’s five o’clock shadow.
The face punch is a highly intimate experience for both parties involved. It may even determine the outcome of a fight. Who suffered the juiciest punch? There’s never the question, “Who has a broken hand?” A cast very well may be the trophy. A black eye can entice the question of your wrong doing to deserve the welt or it can give an understanding of a well balanced match if it is accompanied by a hand in a cast. You may also counter the, “What the hell happened to you?!” with, “You should see the other guy.”
Why hit a man at the MOMA? It’s a natural feeling. When walking through a museum there are multiple chances for any man to feel aggression or jealousy towards another man. Even if a man is whole heartedly enjoying a specific piece, you do not buy it. He is a liar, you think. He is one pretentious, non art loving, punchable liar. He has no understanding of the meaning of the piece and what his perspective of it is completely comical. He has become a target. The man next to him is angered by this man’s need to stand in front of him while he’s listening to his portable tour guide. The portable tour guide man is now a target. The piece will sit in the museum for years and years. He will have countless hours to examine the piece any other time of his life. His anger has made you want to punch him in the face. Either of these men may also have some kind of relationship with a highly attractive female standing beside them. Thus, sparking some type of jealousy that men with some of the highest potential of a face punch can land a seven to a ten leveled woman.

Below is a list of Honorable Mention face-punching-targets.

The Collage Frat Boy, No Longer In College
The Arrogant Metro-Sexual
Your Girlfriend’s Ex-Boyfriend
Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Boyfriend
The Guy You Still Hate From Grade School Even Though You Haven’t Seen Him Since
The Volunteer Fire Fighter Who Thinks He Has the Power of a Police Officer
The Drunkest Guy at A Bar (see also; The Volunteer Fire Fighter Who Thinks He Has the Power of a Police Officer)
The Bartender Who Hates You for No Reason
The Reckless Driver behind the Wheel of an Escalade
Anyone behind the Wheel of a Hummer
Reality TV Show Guy
The Optimum Online Commercial Guy
The UPS Commercial Guy
Joe Buck Announcer for Fox Sports
Jafar from Aladdin
Affliction, Ed Hardy or Tapout Shirt Guy
The Politically Far Left or Far Right Guy
The Crazy Lady from the Movie Misery